


Such Gentle Shadows

by You_Light_The_Sky



Category: Naruto
Genre: Don't copy to another site, Fluff, I need to stop writing magical realism, M/M, Magical Realism, Minor Angst, Ooc Shikamaru probably, especially when i'm writing in a weird jutsu ninja verse thing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-07
Updated: 2019-10-07
Packaged: 2020-11-26 13:16:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,981
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20930846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/You_Light_The_Sky/pseuds/You_Light_The_Sky
Summary: The Naras have always had a deeper connection to shadows then people know and Shikamaru’s Shadow is terribly fond of Naruto. In which, when Naruto leaves Konoha to train with Jiraiya before the time skip, Shikamaru and Naruto send letters to each other through their shadows.





	Such Gentle Shadows

**Author's Note:**

  * For [talconhiro](https://archiveofourown.org/users/talconhiro/gifts).

> For my dear friend talconhiro, who is among the first to ever support me via caffeine. Thank you.
> 
> Also my apologies for this rushed and ooc Shikamaru. I die.

**1 - in the dark, i hide**

He never used to pay much attention to Naruto, except to be annoyed at the number of kids who would jeer at Naruto’s stupidity. He’d think, _ yes, this kid isn’t the brightest, it’s old news now, move on _ and wish for them to be quiet so he could go back to sleep. He never really looked at Naruto, until the kid asked him in class one day, if he could sit next to him, and Shikamaru just yawned and said, “Yeah, go ahead.”

Then, the kid just… _ lit up _, a smile that outdid all his other obnoxious ones, as if Shikamaru had handed him a thousand sweets, and happily sat next to him.

That’s when Shikamaru began to think, _ this kid might not be so bad. _

From then on, Naruto always came to him during break time, asking to hang out with him and Chouji. The way Naruto would look at them both was (and still is) so intensely bright that Shikamaru would look away, trying to hide the heat on his cheeks. Naruto never looked at anyone else like that, save for Iruka-sensei and the Hokage.

Shikamaru started watching Naruto more, telling himself that he’s just trying to keep the kid out of trouble, nothing else to it. He starts seeing how sharp Naruto can be, always aware of his surroundings, trying to cater his image to an obnoxious jester so that _ someone _will look at him. He starts seeing how Naruto’s smiles waver when people turn away, how he clings to a small swing when the day goes dark. 

Maybe that’s why Shikamaru’s Shadow acts, because Shikamaru has always been lazy (and a coward) but he’s never wanted to ask _ are you okay _so badly before. 

His Shadow moves towards Naruto’s and presses a hand against Shadow-Naruto’s back on the swing. Then his Shadow pushes the Shadow-swing, and they look like two normal non-fucked-up kids instead of child soldiers playing school. 

By the time Naruto notices, Shikamaru forces his Shadow back to him and ducks behind a tree.

“Damn it,” he curses his stupid Shadow, and himself for not listening to Dad’s warnings about emotional regulation blah blah. How’s he supposed to know his Shadow would act so… so… _ sentimental? _

Naruto narrows his eyes then shrugs, walking back to wherever he lives.

Shikamaru lets out a breath, making sure to give his Shadow the finger when it shrugs back at him.

Looks like he’ll have to take Dad up on that extra Shadow training. What a drag.

**2 - in the dark, i sleep**

It’s easier to keep an iron grip on his Shadow, to stop it from doing embarrassing things in front of Naruto. Ino complains all the time that Shikamaru never does _ anything _ , but try having to shackle your persistent Shadow from expressing itself _ all the damn time _ and see if _ you _feel like doing anything Ino!

Shikamaru manages to get through the rest of his academy years without Naruto ever finding out about how… attached… his Shadow can be. 

Then the Chunin exams happen. 

Then Team 7 is attacked and it’s all Shikamaru can do to stop his Shadow from going rogue to cling to Naruto. He insists on Team 10 accompanying Team 7 to the tower, just to placate his Shadow, masking the order as a logical decision to support a fellow Leaf team. Besides, he knows how Ino looks at Sakura, she’d take _ any _logic to stay by her side right now.

They make it safely back to the tower, and Shikamaru mentally wrestles with his Shadow to get it the hell out of Naruto’s room, and finally slumps against the wall next door.

Why, oh why, does he spend so much energy on this kid?

Groaning, Shikamaru closes his eyes, and tries to nap, only to jump when Naruto pokes him. “Gah! What the hell?! Watch it!”

“Sorry, sorry!” Naruto wiggles around like an octopus. “Just making sure you were awake, jeez! You sleep like the dead!”

“If I was dead, I wouldn’t be lying around in the hallway.”

“You never know! What if you had a heart attack? Or you got so tired of making your heart beat, that you just stopped, right there?!”

“...That’s not how brains work.”

“But it _ could! _” Naruto insists.

“What do you want?” Shikamaru cuts in, better to stop this train of conversation right away. “It better be important enough to interrupt my nap…”

Naruto actually shuffles his feet, looking down at his toes. “Sorry,” he says again. “I just… I just wanted to say, ‘thanks’, you know? For saving Sakura and Sasuke, for saving my team. I… I don’t know what I would have done if they were… if they were badly hurt. If it weren’t for you and your team, we’d be goners. And for that, I owe you. For life.”

Shikamaru’s stomach lurches at Naruto’s unusually pitiful expression, the way his shoulders slouch down, the way his eyes dart from corner to corner, the way his lips twitch. “You’re important too,” Shikamaru finds himself blurting out, to his Shadow’s glee, “I didn’t do it to save _ Sakura _ or _ Sasuke _ , I did it to save the annoying little guy who always tagged along me and Chouji, I did to save _ you _.”

The way Naruto’s mouth falls, the way his eyes shine at those words, are worth the embarrassment. “...What?”

“You’re my friend,” Shikamaru says before his Shadow can do something stupid with all the emotions flying around. “Don’t make me say it again.”

He closes his eyes, mentally strangles his Shadow to stop it from tackle hugging Naruto, and hopes Naruto and all the feelings will go away.

Instead, he feels something warm settle by his side. 

“What?” Naruto shrugs, when Shikamaru peeks down at him. “I’m tired too. This seems like a good place to rest if you’re here,” he grins.

“I…” For once, Shikamaru’s brain, always calculating and calculating, always restraining his Shadow, has no idea what to compute.

Naruto settles by Shikmaru’s side with his eyes closed. “Just rest, big guy. I’ll wake you up when the next part of the exams come up.”

And what else can he do, but rest?

**3 - in the dark, i stand**

Thank goodness his crush is an idiot and doesn’t ask why Shikamaru is sitting by his hospital bed with a fruit basket. Sure, he threw the Chouji excuse, but he already gave Chouji some contraband barbeque chips. The fruit is honestly all for Naruto, partly because Shikamaru’s stupid brain started having an anxiety attack over how short Naruto is and _ oh no is he eating enough fruits?! _Aaaaand that’s when he had to stop his rogue Shadow from buying fruit from the local Nara merchants. Yup. That happened.

So, indulging his Shadow (only this once, damn it, it’s not like he’s accepting these fluffy feelings or whatever), he bought the fruit _ legally _and brought it to Naruto’s room. 

The surprised but delighted smile that Naruto gives him is worth all the trouble.

Aaaand then that Sand nin tried to murder Rock Lee.

He’s never felt this level of _ bloodlust _ and _ power _from a ninja before. For once, he and his Shadow are in sync, locking Gaara in place before he can hurt Naruto or Lee. No one that dangerous is allowed near Naruto.

But Naruto starts alluding to having a monster inside of him and the way he and Gaara glower at each other is so intense, some sort of unknown conversation that Shikamaru doesn’t know the equation for and it’s _ infuriating _ that all Shikamaru can do for Naruto is just _ stand there _and hold this murdering bastard in place!

For once, after Gai-sensei bursts in to save them, Shikamaru lets his Shadow’s impulses go. 

He lets himself hug Naruto close, he lets himself lean on him, ignoring Naruto’s babbles of ‘what’s going on with you?!’ and just… breathes…

“Don’t do that again, you idiot,” he whispers, his Shadow furiously holding Naruto’s Shadow too. “Don’t go picking battles that you can’t win.”

“I’m not weak,” Naruto protests, missing the point entirely.

“I didn’t say you were.”

But eventually, Naruto’s hands awkwardly hover in the air, and then finally, he lets them stay on Shikamaru’s back, as if holding something precious.

**4 - in the dark, i reach**

He failed to bring Sasuke back. This is on Shikamaru, not Naruto, who nearly _ died _ to bring back some idiot who doesn’t even value him. No, this is on Shikamaru. _ He’s _the Chunin, the team leader. He’s supposed to be the smart one. The Shadow that watches after the light.

His Shadow shakes, furious, seething, but ultimately useless.

“I won’t fail again,” he heard Naruto tell Sakua, “I’ll get stronger. I’ll bring Sasuke back.”

The way Naruto smiles during that terrible promise is so unbelievably fragile, that Shikamaru wants to shake him and yell, ‘Stop trying to be strong, let us carry some of the weight too!’ 

But when Shikamaru mentions this to his father, Shikaku only smiles grimly and says, “Yes, it’s true that we’re here with him… but has anyone ever taught that boy that he isn’t alone?”

Those words make Shikamaru still. Because they’re true. Because Shikamaru’s so _ stupid _ , how can he call himself a genius, when he can’t see something so _ obvious? _ Naruto’s always been alone. No one’s ever really stood by him. Of course, he clings to Sasuke, a bastard who’s also alone, like family. Of course, he doesn’t think to ask Shikamaru or Sakura to carry the weight with him. Of course, he doesn’t want to say goodbye to anyone in the village, when he believes they all hate him.

Shikamaru finds himself running towards Konoha’s gates, towards Naruto’s back, and with his Shadow, he reaches out and keeps Naruto still with his Shadow jutsu, his Shadow reaching out its hands towards Naruto’s shadow, refusing to let go.

“Huh?!” Naruto nearly trips, his hands ballooning as his feet stick to the ground. “What the?! I can’t move!”

Shikamaru turns Naruto’s body around via Shadow jutsu.

“Shikamaru?! What are you?! Hey, stop that! I gotta go with Pervy-sage!”

“I know! But I have something to say first!” Shikamaru bursts out. 

“Uh… okay…?” Naruto stares at him expectantly, and Shikamaru’s brain freezes, because when it comes to Naruto, he can’t calculate anything. He runs on impulse, him and his damn Shadow, he can’t _ think _ . But he can’t _ be _either.

“Write to me,” he blurts out and before Naruto or Jiraiya can protest about secrecy or whatever, he adds, “my Shadow jutsu can do more than just control people’s movements, I can deliver messages from my Shadow to yours, if you let me. Just… write to me. Let me know how you’re doing. Because, damn it, you idiot, I’m gonna miss you. And I want to know how you’re doing.”

That you’re safe, he doesn’t add.

"I…" Naruto balls up his fists and this is it, he'll tell Shikamaru to get lost now, to stop being gross and weird and-- "I didn't think you'd actually care…"

Whatthehell.

Right. How the hell would Naruto know when Shikamaru's done such a shitty job of showing it? When all Naruto's life, people have rejected him?

Shikamaru lets the shadow jutsu go, though his Shadow stubbornly holds hands with Naruto's (urgh, he's glad Naruto hasn't noticed but Jiraiya is a different story all together judging from the notebook he's pulled out to start scrawling notes), and steps closer so he and Naruto are face to face and Naruto can't hide from the truth in his eyes. 

"I care. A lot actually. So please write to me."

Naruto, jaw dropped, and eyes filled with something incalculable, just nods. 

"Okay," he breathes, in a tone Shikamaru can't decipher, "I promise."

After Naruto and Jiraiya leave, Shikamaru sinks to his knees and dies of embarrassment. His stupid Shadow cackles.

**5 - in the dark, i smile**

_ So, _ Naruto's letter starts, because clearly no one taught the kid how to write one, _ Pervy-Sage says that this Shadow Communication Jutsu thingy you shared with me is some top secret Nara Clan Sacred Secret that's only done between clan members or like bonded blood brothers. So does that mean we're blood brothers now? Also thanks. For using your Super Secret Family Jutsu for me. Thanks a lot. _

_ I…. _ Words are crossed out. _ No one’s really trusted me with anything this big before. I guess, what I’m saying is… I won’t let you regret it, because I trust you too. And I hope you’re doing alright and not slacking off on training! Tell Chouji I say hi! And tell Sakura to water my plants on the exact days I told her to, I don’t want them to wilt. Give Iruka-sensei and Baa-chan my best. Your friend, Naruto. _

The letter, given to him by his smug Shadow, trembles in his hands. He shakes his head, fighting back the surge of feelings in his head. Also annoyed that Naruto doesn’t really tell him how _ he _ is doing at _ all. _

Stubbornly, Shikamaru writes back, _ I don’t think of you as just a brother. Chew on that for a while. _ Then crosses out the words. Then writes them again. Then just scowls and goes, _ also, tell me what the hell you’re up to right now before I get my Shadow to throw stones at you. _Before he can lose his nerves, he folds up the paper and shoves it towards his Shadow.

If Shadows could grin, he’d swear his Shadow is grinning down as it takes the letter and vanishes for a moment.

Part of Shikamaru wonders how his Shadow acts when he’s with Naruto unsupervised. 

Oh god please don’t do anything stupid.

The next day, Naruto’s letter appears, written on god-awful-bright orange paper, because _ of course. _

_ What the hell is that supposed to mean?! _ Naruto writes, _ Pervy-Sage just leered at me when I asked him what you meant! So then, we’re best friends?! Or what?! Yo, Shikamaru, what’s our friendship status?! Also, I’m doing fine, I’m getting hella strong and you better be getting stronger too, damn it! _

_ P.S. If your Shadow can give me flowers, can it also send me some of Ichiraku’s Ramen?! _

Shikamaru wants to face palm. So much for being obvious. “Seriously?!” he scowls at his Shadow. “Flowers?! What are we, in a shoujo manga?!”

His Shadow shrugs.

But Shikamaru can’t shake off this stupid grin from his face all day.

(He may or may not try to send Naruto food through the Nara’s most guardly kept secret communication jutsu.)

(He may or may not get a message from Naruto proclaiming, _ I could kiss you! _and be spotted throughout Konoha looking dopey for a good week.)

**6 - in the dark, i listen**

Naruto’s letters start getting shorter. More sporadic. Messier, as the year goes by. 

Shikamaru glares down at his Shadow. “Did you do something weird to him?!”

His Shadow shakes its head furiously.

“Did you try to kiss his Shadow?! I told you not to do that! Consent, man!”

His Shadow starts shaking its finger at him, very offended.

“Then what the hell is going on?!” Shikamaru runs his hand over his hair. Naruto is going to be the death of him. “Why won’t he answer my letters properly?!”

He looks over the past couple of letters he’s received. _ Been moving around a lot lately, gotta get the A-- _ The word is crossed out. _ Some assholes off our scent. They’re after the K-- _ Another crossed out word. _ Something that I have. Can’t explain. Sorry. _

Another letter reads: _ Training a lot with Pervy-Sage to control the K-- _ crossed out word-- _ my chakra. It’s… My chakra is crazy. _

Then: _ Had a bad dream-- _ scribbles, some tear stains-- _ where Ichiraku’s Ramen was closed forever! Ahaha… Do you ever have bad dreams? _

Shikamaru nearly throws the letter across the room.

“What’s going on with you?” he doesn’t know who he’s asking anymore, himself or Naruto. “Why don’t you just _ talk _to me?”

_ Maybe he doesn’t know how to, genius, _a voice, sounding extraordinarily like his father, replies. 

Oh.

Quietly, Shikamaru sits down in the dark and breathes out. Then he writes.

_ Yeah, _ his letter reads, _ I’ve been having all sorts of nightmares lately. Nightmares about the Chunin exams (don’t get me started on how Gaara still freaks me out, no matter how reformed he is), about trying to get Sasuke back. I dream you all die, and it’s my fault. I dream that you never come back. I know it’s not my fault. Dreams are just dreams, you know? But it doesn’t mean I don’t get scared too. _

_ Or worried. _

_ I’m really worried about you, Naruto. I hope you’re doing okay. _

There. That’s all he can really write.

Silently, he gives the letter to his Shadow. It gives him a thumbs up and they both hope the letter will be a win.

*

_ Shikamaru _ , the ink is shaky and sporadic, _ what if I told you that I’m not strong on my own? What if I told you all that strength came from a monster? What if I told you that by myself, I can’t do anything? I can’t even bring a friend, a brother, back? What kind of look would you give me? How could I ever call myself Hokage if I can’t bring one person back? If I can’t stand up with the help of a monster? _

_ What kind of person am I? _

*

_ Naruto, _ he writes back, stabbing the ink onto the page, wishing it was every person who ever called Naruto a demon, _ it takes a special kind of strength to take power from a demon and stay you. It takes a special kind of strength to take the kind of shit that you have, and stay smiling. I don’t know what to say, man. Except, you’re the guy who started at the bottom of our class, and saved our whole village. You’re the guy who says ‘Believe it’ and somehow, people DO start believing in you. You’re the guy who says thanks to someone like me, for saving his teammates, instead of valuing his own life. You’re the guy who I look at when I want to smile too. _

_ Screw being perfect. Keep being you. The best Hokages are human. The best Hokage will be you. _

_ * _

_ Thanks, _ the next letter reads. _ I needed that. _

Shikamaru keeps that letter in his vest pocket, so he’ll remember to listen.

**7 - in the dark, i greet**

“Yo, Shikamaru!” a familiar voice cries out and for a moment, Shikamaru thinks he might be dreaming.

Temari has a knowing grin, which Shikamaru wants to slap off her face (as if he doesn’t know about her thing for Tenten!)

He turns and sees Naruto, taller than before, dressed in black and orange, running towards him. For a minute, Shikamaru panics. How should he act? Nonchalant? Smile? Give a high five?

But Naruto throws his arms around Shikamaru and all thoughts vanish.

His Shadow clings to Naruto’s longer than needed, after they both part, but for once, Shikamaru doesn’t feel like berating it.

“Welcome home.”

**8 - in the dark, i’m here**

“What are you doing here?” Shikamaru asks, when he sees Naruto by Asuma-sensei’s grave.

“Your Shadow brought me,” Naruto admits. “It kept blocking my light for the plants.”

Shikamaru sends said Shadow a hard glare. It pretends to whistle.

“You didn’t have to come, I’m fine… I’m just…”

“Alright then,” Naruto says but stays anyways.

“Did you hear what I said, I---” He stops when he sees the bouquet of sunflowers in Naruto’s hands. Two bouquets.

“Oh,” Naruto tries hiding them behind his back. “Uh, for the Old Man. I bring them when I can. I thought Asuma-sensei might like them too…”

Shikamaru’s eyes do not water.

“Why sunflowers?”

“Just something the Old Man said to me once… about plants always looking up to the sun. It’s pretty lame…”

“No, I’m sure it’s not… tell me.”

Naruto brings the bouquet down by Asuma’s grave.

“He said… that no matter how hard things get, sunflowers always look up. They keep looking up because they want to be like the sun. But they can’t, instead, they become something better than the sun… I don’t know. Those words stuck with me. Guess it’s why I like growing them. It’s pretty stupid.”

“No,” Shikamaru doesn’t bother hiding his tears, thinking about Asuma-sensei always looking forward. “It’s not.”

**9 - in the dark, i love**

“What do you do when someone says they love you?” Naruto asks.

Shikamaru nearly spits out his coffee. “I’m sorry, _ what?! _”

All around them, ninja and civilians are busy trying to rebuild Konoha after Pein’s attack. Shikamaru’s running on four hours of sleep or less each night. It’s possible he’s hallucinating. Judging from how rigid his Shadow has grown, probably not.

“Hinata said she loves me. But I don’t know it means to love her back.”

“Then you don’t love her back,” Shikamaru spits out. “That simple.”

“Oh,” Naruto looks down. “Is it really?”

Shikamaru pauses. Then silently kicks himself. Wait, his Shadow just did that for him. “Okay, maybe not. Love is… complex. I mean, there’s so many different categories of love--familial, platonic, obsessive, lust, etcetera. It can be hard to distinguish.”

“So how do you know if you love someone like romantically?”

“Well…” Shikamaru tries not to think about Naruto, “you want to protect them, you’re sad when they’re sad, you’re happy when they’re happy, you want what’s best for them, you adore them. Of course, if you love them romantically, maybe you want to be with them all the time, maybe you can’t imagine life without them. I don’t know, maybe you want to kiss them. Maybe you don’t. I’m not an expert.”

“Oh,” Naruto says again. “I don’t think I know Hinata that well. I mean, I want her to be happy and I think she’s awesome but I don’t want to be with her all the time…”

“Good,” Shikamaru grumbles underneath his breath.

“Huh?”

“I mean, you should tell her that. Better to let her down gently right away then leave her hanging. That’d be cruel.”

Naruto nods, “Thanks Shikamaru. That helped a lot! Don’t know what I’d do without you!”

“You’d survive.”

“Maybe. But I’d rather do it with you!” Naruto grins, leaving Shikamaru, once more, a mess.

**10 - in the dark, i hold**

Shikamaru waits for Naruto by Konoha’s gates after Naruto sees Sasuke off for his weird redemption journey or bullshit (personally he thinks Sasuke belongs in a cell but whatever). He mentally prepares himself for comforting Naruto, pasting on a smirk, when Naruto says, “So, I hear your Shadow has a thing for mine.”

…..what.

Naruto grins mischievously, pointing to where Shikamaru’s shadow has already started holding hands with Naruto’s Shadow… and seems to be asking for a kiss.

Shit.

“Um. I. I can explain,” Shikamaru stutters, thinking through all his contingency plans for what might happen if he loses control of his Shadow.

“It’s okay,” Naruto continues, “because, see, I’ve had a thing for your Shadow’s owner for a while now. A few years actually, but I was too busy trying to get Sasuke back to try. But seeing as Sasuke’s not a rogue nin anymore, and you and I are pretty drama free now, what do you say for trying to date… me?”

……………………………….????!!!!!!!

If Shikamaru’s brain could make a sound, it would be that.

“I… you… this…?!”

“Your Shadow is kissing mine.”

“Hmm?!”

“I’m going to kiss you now too. I might be bad at it. It’s my first kiss.”

Naruto is not bad at kissing at all.

*

In the future, people smile fondly at the Hokage’s Shadow, rushing off with his advisor’s Shadow, across Konoha. They look fondly at how seriously the Hokage and his advisor act, when deep down, they’re too soft.

Too gentle.

**Author's Note:**

> Always happy to get prompts at my [twitter](https://twitter.com/youlightthesky1), my [writing tumblr](http://youlighttheskyfanfiction.tumblr.com/), or my [art tumblr](https://youlighttheskyart.tumblr.com/)


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